My son was diagnosed antenatally as having long gap oesophegal atresia and therfore although I managed to go full term I needed to deliver in a surgical hospital so I was admitted for a week prior to being induced. They first tried to induce on the Wednesday and I went into labour but due to having far too much water it was not productive, the same happened on thursday and then on friday they decided to do a Caesarian, I went into the theatre with my husband, they opened me up and there was a huge splash and everyone got their feet wet. They held my baby up so I could see him and then they took him away to intensive care. My husband went with my son. I was sent to recovery with all the mothers who had their babies with them. This was c 10am I was then sent upstairs to the ward where I was in an individual room (although there was no toilet and I had to go past all the other mums with babies). The camera was not working in intensive care so they could not send any photos up to me. It was almost 6pm before they showed me a picture of my baby. By 9pm I was so distressed and wanting to see baby that they finally took me downstairs to intensive care.

My baby had lots and lots of tubes in him and the nurses there were fantastic.

Up on the post baby ward there was no care, no pillows which meant getting out of bed was almost impossible, there was no care or conversation as to how I was managing with one baby in intensive care, and a 2 year old being looked after a nanny while I was in hospital.

My son had many operations and the intensive nurses were great but the care of me was non existent, I was in for 4 days and I feel that actually if they could have looked after me better I would have been able to look after my son better. They only saw me when I requested more pain relief they never asked how my baby was doing.

I cannot fault the care provided of the baby but I was subsequently diagnosed with post traumatic stress due to the impact of my son being so poorly and seeing other babies die in the cots incubators next door to ours. The view of the nurses was that since your son is ill you need to be strong.

The actual birth was as safe as it could be and the anaesthetist explained everything to me. However I think it was quite cruel to put me in a recovery room with four other mothers who had their babies while I had no idea how mine was.