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Avoiding repetition


Example 1  Example 2



Example 1

The owners of small businesses claim that there is no way that small businesses can compete with massive companies like Wal-Mart. There are many reasons why they cannot compete with these companies, such as the fact that small businesses do not have as much access to advertising as large businesses like Wal-Mart. Small businesses also have limited hours of operation compared to large businesses. Also, small businesses have fewer staff and a lack of specialized staff. Small businesses also have a smaller inventory, and having a small inventory means that they cannot lower prices to the extent that large businesses like Wal-Mart reduce their prices. Small businesses are also usually not given the opportunity to experiment with new retailing methods. Finally, small businesses also often suffer from a lack of building space.


There are a number of ways to avoid repetition in this first text:


Find a synonym

Grammatical substitution

Delete unnecessary words ( )

businesses = enterprises, companies, corporations (large)

small businesses = they

There are many reasons (why they cannot compete with these companies)

staff = personnel, employees

a small inventory = one

large businesses (like Wal-Mart)

compete = contend with, rival

and having a small inventory means = this means

Small businesses also have limited hours of operation (compared to large businesses).

 

There are many reasons why they cannot compete with these companies = they cannot do so

 



A better version of the paragraph would be:


The owners of small businesses claim that there is no way that they can compete with massive companies like Wal-Mart. There are many reasons, such as the fact that they do not have as much access to advertising as large corporations. Small businesses also have limited hours of operation, as well as fewer and less specialized staff. They also have a smaller inventory, and this means that they cannot lower prices to the extent that large enterprises do. Small companies are also usually not given the opportunity to experiment with new retailing methods. Finally, they also often suffer from a lack of building space.


Example 2

Light pollution is a form of pollution which is created by excessive and badly designed lighting and has many negative effects. These negative effects vary according to different forms of light pollution. One form of light pollution is called ‘light trespass’. Light trespass is when, unwanted light extends unnecessarily—or trespasses—into someone else's space. Another major form of light pollution is sky glow; sky glow refers to the bright, glowing effect of light from populated areas seen in the night sky. Sky glow creates many negative effects: it obscures the stars from view, and it interferes with astronomy research. Furthermore, sky glow diminishes our appreciation of the night sky. However, light pollution does not only affect people. This kind of pollution also affects wildlife. For example, some birds navigate by using the stars but cannot navigate if sky glow obscures their view. For example, baby sea turtles instinctually move from the sand to the ocean at night because the water and horizon are generally brighter than the surrounding sand. However, artificial lights in the area can confuse the baby sea turtles and they get lost because of light pollution.


There are a number of ways to avoid repetition in this first text:


Find a synonym

Grammatical substitution

Delete unnecessary words ( )

negative effects = detrimental effects, a damaging impact

...an has many negative effects which vary according to ...

Light pollution (is a form of pollution which) is created ...

form = kind, type, category

One form of light pollution is = One of these is ...

unwanted light extends (unnecessarily)
obscures = clouds, hampers

Light trespass is when,... = This is when

However, light pollution does not only affect people, but (this kind of pollution also affects) wildlife.

affects = has an impact on

Furthermore, sky glow interferes with ... = Furthermore, it interferes with ...

the (baby sea) turtles


Some birds navigate by using the stars, but cannot navigate if ... = but cannot do so if ...  


A better version of the paragraph would be:


Light pollution is created by excessive and badly designed lighting and has many negative effects, which vary according to different forms of light pollution. One of these is called ‘light trespass’. This is when, unwanted light extends —or trespasses—into someone else's space. Another major type of light pollution is sky glow; this refers to the bright, glowing effect of light from populated areas seen in the night sky. It creates many detrimental effects: it obscures the stars from view, and interferes with astronomy research. Furthermore, sky glow diminishes our appreciation of the night sky. However, light pollution does not only affect people. but also wildlife. For example, some birds navigate by using the stars but cannot do so if sky glow hampers their view. For example, baby sea turtles instinctually move from the sand to the ocean at night because the water and horizon are generally brighter than the surrounding sand. However, artificial lights in the area can confuse the turtles and they get lost because of light pollution.