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Labouring a point


Example 1

Here is the original:

A number of recent studies (Brudney, 1993; Clary & Snyder, 1991; Davis et al., 2003) have found that young people volunteer to serve their community mainly because they are motivated by the desire to help others. This kind of motivation is altruistic; in other words, volunteers are considering and responding to the needs of others. Given this humanistic motivation of volunteers, youth organizations should promote volunteering as an avenue to make a difference in the lives of others.

And the highlighted sentence could be deleted because it is redundant and repetitive:

A number of recent studies (Brudney, 1993; Clary & Snyder, 1991; Davis et al., 2003) have found that young people volunteer to serve their community mainly because they are motivated by the desire to help others. This kind of motivation is altruistic; in other words, volunteers are considering and responding to the needs of others. Given this humanistic motivation of volunteers, youth organizations should promote volunteering as an avenue to make a difference in the lives of others.


Ask yourself - 'Do I really need to explain or reformulate this for my reader?'


Example 2

Here is the original:

It is commonly believed that English is the dominant language in the world today. However, there is growing evidence that English will not remain in that dominant position in the future. Instead, experts in linguistics predict that multilingualism will be the key trend in the years to come. A multilingual population is already the case in much of the world and is becoming more common in the United States. One in five Americans speak a language other than English at home. The notion that English will take over the world and that we will all be speaking it as a first language is now considered out-dated and erroneous. In most of the world multilingualism is and will continue to be the norm, with English perhaps as just one language among others of equal importance.


And the highlighted sentence can be deleted since the point was already made in the first two sentences.

It is commonly believed that English is the dominant language in the world today. However, there is growing evidence that English will not remain in that dominant position in the future. Instead, experts in linguistics predict that multilingualism will be the key trend in the years to come. A multilingual population is already the case in much of the world and is becoming more common in the United States. One in five Americans speak a language other than English at home. The notion that English will take over the world and that we will all be speaking it as a first language is now considered out-dated and erroneous. In most of the world multilingualism is and will continue to be the norm, with English perhaps as just one language among others of equal importance.